After over a decade as a relationship growth-junkie and relationship coach it feels clear to me that one thing we all deeply desire is to be loved fully as we are, however messy or appealing that may look from the outside at any given moment. We know we want to receive this, but it can be hard to give it to our partner, or our child, or ourselves for that matter, especially in the heat of a big, emotional experience.

So what’s the secret? There are various ones I’ve found. The first feels like acknowledgment of the desire to work towards this type of unconditional love. The second is honoring your own energy, noticing how resourced you are, and setting healthy boundaries that keep you honoring your needs and capacity. The third is clear, compassionate communication. The fourth is having a thriving life of your own that allows you to live as a sovereign, full being. And perhaps the most important piece to succeeding in the practice of loving unconditionally, without taking on the other’s emotions, is the practice of it. It’s a practice, a dance, and it requires dedication, playfulness, and trust in the process.

I brought Bridgette, my partner of 8 years, in for the latest video on my membership site, which is all about this topic. We share our own experiences evolving as individuals and a couple from enmeshment to true love, and the challenges that have helped us grow along the way.

The full video is 22-minutes long and only on the Being Love membership site. However, you can get 5-minutes of the highlights in the video included on this page.