I had what felt like a profound realization this week as my purpose as Ilya’s mama came into focus in such a simple way. It landed something like this:

My purpose as a parent is to identify Ilya’s needs and teach him how to meet them in the most resonant ways for him. 

That’s what I’ve been learning to do all these years of re-parenting myself, that’s what I do with all my coaching clients, that’s what we are doing here in life. It felt like such an ah-ha moment.

As humans we all have a lot of the same basic (and even more complex) needs. Things such as nourishment, hydration, movement, rest, love, creativity, safety, connection, touch, play, relaxation, challenge, nature, self-expression, and so on. We could create a really basic list or we could make it complex. But from what I have learned, to thrive this life, I need to know what my needs are and I need to meet them in ways that feel really good, really right for me. And Ilya is the same.

So I’ve made my focus paying attention, even more, to Ilya’s needs. I’ve been noticing the ways we meet them that he seem most lit up by- the most nourished, most balanced, most himself.

This is really an extension of what we’ve already been doing together, but it brings a sweet understanding and a simplification to it all. I am teaching Ilya how to care for himself. And even more so, I am modeling to Ilya how I care for myself and him and inviting him to do it beside me, with me, or even sometimes for us.

Some of the activities we are focused on right now are  reading, writing, and numbers, cleaning the dishes and clothes, preparing meals, stretching, compassionate communication, and focus, to name a few.

Some of the activities he already has developed, which care for his needs in beautiful ways are swimming, letters, art, building, creative play, putting away dishes, folding and putting away his clothes, tidying his play spaces, washing his body and teeth, and giving and receiving massage.

At 6-years-old he is already well on his way to a balanced life that took me decades to re-parent myself into.

For support in living a well-balanced life filled with love for yourself, your kids, your partner/s and beyond, join me in the Being Love Membership.